To the woman outside my window:

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:35:44 GMT

I don't know if you're upstairs or downstairs or across the street, but damn your voice can carry. If it wasn't for your utterly vomit-inducing singing past the darkest hours of the night and into the morning, I would applaud your efforts. Unfortunately, some of us want to sleep. I have tried numerous times to drown your terrible voice out with equally obnoxious music, I have tried looking for you by going downstairs into the foyer, I have tried screaming at you to shut the fuck up, but none of this has worked.

Normally you only do this on Wednesday nights, why, oh why couldn't you instead get drunk on Tuesdays when I need to stay up doing thesis work anyway??? No, instead, you choose the middle of the week, which is inconvenient not only to me but to everyone else in my building. I have contemplated changing my wireless network's name to "PLEASE, SHUT THE FUCK UP DRUNK LADY" but alas, it does not allow long winded titles. I don't even know if you have wireless internet. For all I know, you are some homeless woman who finds her way into my building every Wednesday.

But no, not tonight, it's Friday. And I heard you come up the stairs. Yeah, that's right, I know you broke your heel on your way up. I'm pretty sure you live in the apartment right above mine. That's right, if you don't stop soon, I'm going to march my ass up there and slap you in your stupid drunk face. If you want to sing so badly, I can recommend a number of karaoke bars that will get you drunk AND let you sing badly in front of an equally drunk and enthusiastic audience.

Yes, you might ask what I'm doing at home on a Friday night, and perhaps my social life is not as booming as yours is, but seeing as how you've been doing this every Wednesday for the past two months, I don't think you can even argue this. Maybe you don't have a job, or school, or anything to do on Thursday mornings, but THE REST OF US DO!

Oh, mystery drunk woman who yells inaudible lyrics so that the entire building can hear at 4:30 am, I am at my last wits now and I can't stand to be awake anymore so please, please, please, for the love of god, shut the fuck up.

all you need is love.

To the woman outside my window: